I'm feeling lazy, but I haven't blogged in a few days, and as the last one was a bit over the top, here is my month up to now based soley on what my facebook statuses have been. This has required that I actually read the shit that I've posted on there and now I realize that maybe all those people who are afraid of me were right. . . Be afraid. Very afraid. Because I am apparently out of my fucking mind!
So, the husband is gone and I am ATTEMPTING to dig myself out of the laundry he left behind! Reason number 39 why I do not miss him when he's gone. . .
Is wondering, if you saw me in the back of a police car wearing handcuffs, what would you think I'd been arrested for?
says drinking doesn't solve your problems... but it sure as fuck helps ya forget them for a while! Bring out the wine!
Is looking for an evil sidekick..previous experience in sabotage, torture and chemistry advantageous..applications and evil names below...
doesn't need alcohol to make an ass of myself in public: I'm perfectly capable to do it all on my own!
I'm going to Hell in a handbasket--it has GOT to be cooler there than it is here. . .
I think it's time to stage a coup of hell--I hear the weather is fine (unlike around here!) Anyone like to join?
Still hotter than hell here. . .
The answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything: sarcasm. Well, that or duct tape.
Thinks you should have a sign on your forehead that says: "WARNING! I am a f*cking moron" That way, I don't have to find out the hard way.
I resign my position as Waste Management and Resolutions Coordinator. Deal with your own $h!t and solve your own damn problems! :) I feel better already! :)
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good. . . "
Thinks about you everyday... Granted, I'm fantasizing about how I'd like to kill you, but I'm thinking about you just the same.
So there's this huge snake in the backyard tonight and it's a cottonmouth! So the dogs are going apeshit, I am holding it down with a broom, and John is using a shovel to attempt to chop off its head. Fun night! All I can say is thank the God no one called the cops when I was out there screaming "Kill the fucker!" a...t John. One final note: The bitch is dead.
has a headache that would leave Einstein brain dead.
The bottles of wine in the fridge are calling my name. If those bastards don't shut up, I will be forced to take drastic measures. . .
To my beautiful baby boy- I love you dearly and I know that your snooty nose makes breathing while you sleep a virtual impossibility, thus requiring your mother to be up all night holding you. However, if this latest phase of not sleeping fails to pass soon, I will regretfully have to reopen the auction. . .
"What the hell were you thinking?" Well, obviously, that I would get away with it. . .
Pie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.
I don't have skeletons in my closet. I have a tiny black box full of souls that I keep in my underwear drawer.
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