1. When you get a cut, you bleed fucking toriis!! (Thanks, JT.)
2. You like drinking, fighting and fucking (not necessarily in that order.)
3. You cannot stay out of trouble in garrison. And most incidents of you getting in trouble somehow involve one of the things listed in #2.
4. You can identify a piece of shit, ass kissing, fuck who got his Bronze Star for taking it up the ass at 100 meters.
5. You have, at some point in your career, told an officer to go fuck themselves. Loudly. To their face.
6. You get a torii tattoo that covers your entire back just to pass a fucking E5 board.
7. Your unit citation ribbons weigh more than your wife.
8. Your kid's first word was "FUCK!"
9. Your living room decor is toriis.
10. Your buddy's cheating bitch wife's boyfriend's house "mysteriously" burned to the ground.
11. Your wife can outswear a sailor, outdrink a pogue, and quote the 7-8.
12. You think Rangers are fucking pussies.
13. You will throw punches over who you are going to spoon with out in the field in December.
14. If it isn't tied down, any Rakkasan paraphernalia at the ball is fair game to take home, regardless of what they may say, including the centerpieces, other people's wine glasses, the Rakkasan wine, and the four foot tall unit crest in the corner. They'll look fucking awesome in your living room!!!
15. If another unit breaches Rakkasan-land during PT, they had better be prepared to hand over that fucking guide-on or be prepared to reap the whirlwind!
16. I want my steel beret back!!
17. Work is work and Play is play. So it's all good if we go to the CO's house for a bbq, get drunk and set the porch on fire. . .
18. COL Steele is the shit.
29 April 2011
11 April 2011
Not Another Fucking "Award"
I got another fucking invitation in the mail to go to yet another awards ceremony to honour the FRG volunteers. Whoopee-dee fucking doo. After all the shit this deployment and fucked up CoC has put everyone through, the powers that be now feel the need to point out the members of the FRG that got off their asses and actually did the fucking job they volunteered for! Wow. I'm thrilled. Can someone just fucking shoot me?
I have said it before and I'm sure that I'll say it again: I do not need or want a fucking award for doing the right thing. If I didn't want to help, I wouldn't have fucking thrown my name out to help. I don't even like people to tell me thank you, so you can imagine my sheer delight at getting this invitation.
And then there's the ever so minor matter of who would be making the presentation of the awards: a CoC that I neither like nor respect. After all their bullshit, I suddenly give a fuck whether they think I did a good job or not?? If the guys' wives/families are happy with whatever I might have done for them, that's all that matters to me. If I somehow made deployment remotely bearable or could help with an issue, that means more to me than any fucking piece of paper could. Especially coming from that HMFIC.
I had it all planned out. I would walk up, take the fucking thing, shake the bastard's hand and then rip that damnable piece of shit up in his face. Maybe, depending on how sycophantic the asshole was being that day, I might even shove the pieces up his ass. And the award is a good one: Department of the Army Certificate for Patriotic Civilian Service. It just might actually mean something if it were coming from a CoC that knew what the fuck they were doing, didn't expect everyone to kiss their asses, or actually gave two shits about the welfare of their men.
My husband, poor man, loved this plan of mine but decided that it would be best if I just not go. He still has to go to work up there and me causing a scene like that may have created some issues for him. I'm not really the "obey your husband" type, but luckily for me, the two little ones had Niagara Falls pouring out of their noses so I did what he wanted and stayed home. I picked up the award today from the FRSA, who I do happen to like and respect so it all worked out in the end.
Now I just need to figure out where I can find a real Rakkasan to sign this award and take the HMFIC's name of the fucking thing. Because I'll be damned if that fucker's name is getting framed and put up on my wall.
I have said it before and I'm sure that I'll say it again: I do not need or want a fucking award for doing the right thing. If I didn't want to help, I wouldn't have fucking thrown my name out to help. I don't even like people to tell me thank you, so you can imagine my sheer delight at getting this invitation.
And then there's the ever so minor matter of who would be making the presentation of the awards: a CoC that I neither like nor respect. After all their bullshit, I suddenly give a fuck whether they think I did a good job or not?? If the guys' wives/families are happy with whatever I might have done for them, that's all that matters to me. If I somehow made deployment remotely bearable or could help with an issue, that means more to me than any fucking piece of paper could. Especially coming from that HMFIC.
I had it all planned out. I would walk up, take the fucking thing, shake the bastard's hand and then rip that damnable piece of shit up in his face. Maybe, depending on how sycophantic the asshole was being that day, I might even shove the pieces up his ass. And the award is a good one: Department of the Army Certificate for Patriotic Civilian Service. It just might actually mean something if it were coming from a CoC that knew what the fuck they were doing, didn't expect everyone to kiss their asses, or actually gave two shits about the welfare of their men.
My husband, poor man, loved this plan of mine but decided that it would be best if I just not go. He still has to go to work up there and me causing a scene like that may have created some issues for him. I'm not really the "obey your husband" type, but luckily for me, the two little ones had Niagara Falls pouring out of their noses so I did what he wanted and stayed home. I picked up the award today from the FRSA, who I do happen to like and respect so it all worked out in the end.
Now I just need to figure out where I can find a real Rakkasan to sign this award and take the HMFIC's name of the fucking thing. Because I'll be damned if that fucker's name is getting framed and put up on my wall.
05 April 2011
I'm BACK!!
I've just been a lazy bitch and said "fuck it!" about blogging. I was busy raping my husband. . . You'll just have to forgive the fact that Kate did not publish any new rants for your perusal in the past month. And just for information sake, I did not have nearly as many opportunities to have my brains fucked out as I wanted because my delightful, beautiful, evil children decided to wait until block leave for all four of them to have week long bouts of vomiting and diarrhea and I was just to fucking tired to fuck!! Damn it! On the bright side, we are not expecting the imminent arrival of number five. . .
The boys are back to work and the honeymoon period of "I'm just so fucking glad to be home!" should be coming to a screaming halt before long. My hubby is past that stage and into the "I can't fucking sit still for more than five seconds, everything is my wife's fault, and I only want you around for sex" stage. In other words, ASSHOLE mode. I fucking hate him. He needs to go away again. Block leave lasting a month is too long but just the right length of time to remind me why I like the Army: About the time I get sick of him, he leaves!!! I am going to go insane with this man under foot all the time. Or I'm going to fucking suck start that new Russian rifle he bought (if I can figure out how to pull the trigger with my toes!) I love my husband. Very much. He's the love of my life, and how I hate him. . .
On a similar note about loving husbands and wives, when the fuck did it become OK to fuck the wife of one of your Army buddies?? And why is no one being punished through UCMJ action for adultery? Oh wait, that's right. We have SGM Wife-fucker in the CoC and he sucks enough cock to get away with it. LOL. So, if by any chance you are wanting to fuck one of your husband's friends or a buddy's wife, for heaven's sake, do it NOW before that bastard leaves the unit.
I don't get it. I have had sex with one single person in my life and that is the man I am married to. What is the fascination with sex?? I like sex. I have four kids for fuck's sake. I am sick to death with drama and divorce and both are running rampant around here. Get some morals, keep your pants on, and try not to fuck anyone on your way to the parking lot! Jeez.
Yep. The Kate is back.
The boys are back to work and the honeymoon period of "I'm just so fucking glad to be home!" should be coming to a screaming halt before long. My hubby is past that stage and into the "I can't fucking sit still for more than five seconds, everything is my wife's fault, and I only want you around for sex" stage. In other words, ASSHOLE mode. I fucking hate him. He needs to go away again. Block leave lasting a month is too long but just the right length of time to remind me why I like the Army: About the time I get sick of him, he leaves!!! I am going to go insane with this man under foot all the time. Or I'm going to fucking suck start that new Russian rifle he bought (if I can figure out how to pull the trigger with my toes!) I love my husband. Very much. He's the love of my life, and how I hate him. . .
On a similar note about loving husbands and wives, when the fuck did it become OK to fuck the wife of one of your Army buddies?? And why is no one being punished through UCMJ action for adultery? Oh wait, that's right. We have SGM Wife-fucker in the CoC and he sucks enough cock to get away with it. LOL. So, if by any chance you are wanting to fuck one of your husband's friends or a buddy's wife, for heaven's sake, do it NOW before that bastard leaves the unit.
I don't get it. I have had sex with one single person in my life and that is the man I am married to. What is the fascination with sex?? I like sex. I have four kids for fuck's sake. I am sick to death with drama and divorce and both are running rampant around here. Get some morals, keep your pants on, and try not to fuck anyone on your way to the parking lot! Jeez.
Yep. The Kate is back.
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