You Might Be a Rakkasan IF. . .

1. When you get a cut, you bleed fucking toriis!! (Thanks, JT.)

2. You like drinking, fighting and fucking (not necessarily in that order.)

3. You cannot stay out of trouble in garrison. And most incidents of you getting in trouble somehow involve one of the things listed in #2.

4. You can identify a piece of shit, ass kissing, fuck who got his Bronze Star for taking it up the ass at 100 meters.

5. You have, at some point in your career, told an officer to go fuck themselves. Loudly. To their face.

6. You get a torii tattoo that covers your entire back just to pass a fucking E5 board.

7. Your unit citation ribbons weigh more than your wife.

8. Your kid's first word was "FUCK!"

9. Your living room decor is toriis.

10. Your buddy's cheating bitch wife's boyfriend's house "mysteriously" burned to the ground.

11. Your wife can outswear a sailor, outdrink a pogue, and quote the 7-8.

12. You think Rangers are fucking pussies.

13. You will throw punches over who you are going to spoon with out in the field in December.

14. If it isn't tied down, any Rakkasan paraphernalia at the ball is fair game to take home, regardless of what they may say, including the centerpieces, other people's wine glasses, the Rakkasan wine, and the four foot tall unit crest in the corner. They'll look fucking awesome in your living room!!!

15. If another unit breaches Rakkasan-land during PT, they had better be prepared to hand over that fucking guide-on or be prepared to reap the whirlwind!

16. I want my steel beret back!!

17. Work is work and Play is play. So it's all good if we go to the CO's house for a bbq, get drunk and set the porch on fire. . .

18. COL Steele is the shit.