This was in my FB status today and is for some reason, funny. OK. Unfortunately, the average wife of a deployed soldier will tell you there are many times where that phrase isn't so much funny as it is a perfectly viable idea. Even I feel like that sometimes and this is NOT my first pony ride. In 15 years of marriage, amongst the schools and field time and deployments and ranges and other really fucking stupid Army shit (Oh, I forgot EIB training, haha), I figure my husband has been gone about 7 of those years. Now ask me why I would ever want to end myself?
Now, it's a fleeting thought. And a rare one. Here's the thing. With deployment insomnia, if you lay still enough, long enough, and have enough alcohol in you, you will eventually pass out. But then there are those times, when you have lain there long and still and half buzzed and sleep has just kissed your eyelids down, and then the 16 month old baby announces his extreme displeasure at the molars that are attempting to force themselves upon him and he is fucking pissed!!!
This has been going on for a week! A FULL FUCKING WEEK!! ARGH! I love my son. I really do, but if those teeth don't break through the gum soon, I will not be held accountable for my actions!
Sleep deprivation can be fun. Just not when I am trying to be mom and dad and get ready for the holidays and answer questions daily about redeployment and PTSD and reintegration and rescue friends who are magnets for idiot drivers and homeschool and deal with a teething child !! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! It just never fucking ends. Ever. And there are times when suck-starting a pistol really sounds good. . . Not really an option though.
I don't own a pistol.
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