Death by Stupid

In case you couldn't tell by all the references throughout my blog, I love Monty Python. Love them. Fucking brilliant. And the opening scene of "Meaning of Life" has got to be one of my faves. There's a man who's running through this village being chased by topless women on roller skates. The scene follows him just running from these women and running some more--right off the edge of a cliff and falling from some ridiculous height into the grave below which already has the vicar and mourners waiting to participate in his funeral. He's a criminal who's been sentenced to death and this is the method of execution he has chosen. Love it.

Now given the choice, I would have to say that this man's particular choice wouldn't be high up on my list of ways to die--but then I don't swing that way. Nothing really springs to mind as a great way to die in fact, but one thing I know for certain is that DEATH BY STUPID is the very last way I want to kick the bucket. Fuck you very much.

Dying by stupid is a rather vague way of putting it. There are so many stupids to choose from!! And they all seem to be ganging up on me right now, threatening to do what suck-starting a pistol would do in a much nicer way. There's death by stupid children who are teething and up all night causing insomnia dementia to set in or the more general version of stupid children who don't fucking listen to their mother. Then there's death by stupid husband who is nice one second and then fucking Satan the next. And the there's death by stupid wives (not you, my harem of lovelies) who act like fucking two year olds. And let's not leave out stupid in-laws who seem to think my world revolves around them. But by far, the number one method of death by stupid is the stupid fucking bastard asshole Army, which seems more concerned with protecting pieces of shit fucks and pretending it gives a damn about family than it does about doing the right thing!! FTA!!