Saying No--Not working so well. . .

So my goal this deployment was to learn to say no and somehow I still manage to get roped into helping everyone with every little thing. That sign on my forehead still announces that I have extraordinary powers and can solve any issue. When the hell did I become a marriage counselor?

We had a casualty alert come down the chain and I called all my wives to make sure no one was freaking out, as the injuries were in our company. No KIA, thank God! So in the process of seeing if these women were maintaining their sanity, I have one break down on the phone. No about the guys that got hurt, but about her husband and how he is talking about divorce. So, I, being the glutton for punishment that I am, ask her what's going on, is this her first deployment, how long they've been married. . . All that jazz. Come to find out, this is her first deployment as a spouse, married less than a year, and he wants a divorce because he hates her family who came and stayed with her for a few days. Somehow, not wanting to be alone is a crime and now he can't trust her. REALLY?

I don't understand. In the grand scheme of things, is family visiting really that big a deal. Man, you are being shot at! Your wife is here alone trying to stay sane, faithful, and a credit to you. Grow up!

SHe is freaking out, afraid to say anything because he'll get in trouble and just wants to know her marriage isn't doomed to fail. What am I supposed to say or do? SO I explained about angry month and tried to reassure that his attitude and moods are going to be yo-yoing over the course of deployment, so this will likely blow over. I also told her that he can't get in trouble for having marital issues unless there is abuse involved. He might get chewed for not having called in several weeks, but that's the extent of it. I suggested she talk to the chaplain.

I love the Army and volunteering, helping wives. I just really hate trying to play mom and counselor when wives start crying. People seem to forget that I am going through this deployment, too! My husband is gone, too! I have four kids and have problems of my own to deal with. Deployments SUCK!! I have got to learn how to tell people no or I'm going to lose my damn mind.