Angry Month

Apparently, I need to explain this a bit further, as my phone continues to ring with wives on the other end who believe that I can fix their marriages. So, here it is. The facts on the emotional highs and lows of deployment, especially during what I like to call "Angry Month."

What is it about months 4 and 5 of a deployment that makes everyone so damn angry and causes all the fighting  between the wives and their soldiers that I keep getting calls about? Now the exact timing on this changes from person to person, but Angry Month hits around now. I guess it has something to do with the fact that time wears so slowly these two months. We're well into deployment, but we aren't even to the halfway mark so the end is nowhere in sight. It's frustrating and seems like it will never end. Add to that the monotony of being stuck at home with kids, not getting any sex (and battery powered toys do not count!), and that the guys are all feeling like we wives have it so easy, it's no wonder that everyone is angry and ripping out each others' throats over the phone and internet.

What the hell is a wife to do? I mean, our husbands are getting shot at and people are trying to blow them up! We do our damnedest not to say anything that will upset them, but then we get the "nasty-gram" email or a screaming bastard on the other end of a phone call. It is not always possible to stay calm, and sometimes it is necessary to inform the son of a bitch that he needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Really, what are you supposed to say when he says that the life of a soldier's wife is a cake walk or that we are irresponsible with his money or that we are a cheating whore, when the fact is that none of these are true? We are military wives, who are dealing with the daily worry of a husband who may not come home, raising our kids as single parents, juggling bills and sending packages to him that cost way too much money, and trying to get over the fact that our sex lives have "ceased to be." Sometimes, dealing with his shitty attitude is just the straw that snaps the camel's back in half.

My point is this: tell him off if it starts to get out of hand. He's a big boy and if he wants to dish it out, he better be ready to take it, too. My husband has been told to fuck off more than once and I've also hung up on his ass numerable times. He got over it, put some thought into what he was accusing me of and things got back to normal. Month 6 is just around the bend and attitudes start to improve once we hit that halfway mark.

Just on a sidenote here: I am happy to listen to anyone who needs to bitch about the stupid jerk that is making you miserable. But you better not be doing anything that merits a husband screaming at you during a phone call. I have no tolerance for cheating spouses--if you want to marry a military man, you better have the intestinal fortitude to keep your pants on and not fuck around through a year-long deployment.