So I get a phone call from the colonel's wife. No big deal. I'm the treasurer for the FRG account and figured I had mis-added something on the last audit. I'm not embezzling money so it's something stupid. Easy to fix. No problem. Instead, I find out that my name somehow got submitted by some crazy fucktard to the monthly thing on post where the general recognizes "outstanding volunteers who go above and beyond the call of duty." I know I should feel honoured. I know I should be grateful. I know that I should be eating this shit up. SO why do I feel like an idiot and why am I dreading going to this ceremony?
I am an Army wife. Like my husband, I live my life according to the seven Army values to try to be a good reflection on my husband and to be an example of what a good Army wife should be. Maybe you've never heard of the Army values so here they are: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honour, Integrity, and Personal Courage. These are the code my husband and I have always lived by and we stick to it hard. We are a military family and this is how we should be living.
So, I am loyal to my husband (I don't screw around), his men and their families. If they need help, I help them. Simple as that. Because my husband is an NCO, this is not an option, but a duty. His job is to take care of his men and so it is my job to help him accomplish this. I have great respect for the men my husband works with and for and try to never make myself a nuisance or be seen as a troublemaker. I do whatever is asked of me (and in fact, I have difficulty telling people no) and thereby exhibit selfless service. I act with honour in all situations and put my husband, my children and the men above everything. I take pride in the unit and its legacy, making it a point to go to all ceremonies and events that honour our prior members. I act with integrity--I don't lie, I don't complain unless it's a serious issue, and I always do what I say I'm going to. I display personal courage every time I raise hell to get the job done (housing really hates me) or I face down an officer who isn't doing what he should. I will go to bat for anyone who needs help and work to see it done right.
Why is this something that needs to be recognized? I am doing the right thing and doing the right thing is its own reward. I feel like an idiot when people tell me "thank you" and hand me some award or a coin. Do people really volunteer just so they can have a wall of fame? I hate my awards. I seriously fucking hate them. My husband is so proud and makes sure that everyone goes to see them all framed and hanging. Makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. You can sum up why I do all this volunteering in a few words: To know what is right and do it not, that is sin. . . I don't need or want an award or recognition for just being who I am and trying to do the right thing--trying to live by the Army values. I am a soldier's wife--the proud wife of an NCO and I expect nothing less of myself.
So I get to go to this ceremony thing and attempt to not come across as an ungrateful, ungracious bitch. . . Oh joy. . .
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