Work Hard, Play Harder

All the depresssing moments of a deployment have to be tempered by some uplifting or funny thoughts. Lately I've been remembering some of our early days in the Army when I was a witness to some of the wilder moments in Rakkasan-land. You know, the good old days when other units were afraid to be anywhere near 3rd Brigade and replacement expressed deep sympathy to anyone who got orders to be a Rakkasan. This was back before 9-11 and the boys still spent at least four months a year in the field and another month in EIB training. Half the year away from the family learning how to be the perfect infantryman. Talk about hard work.

Then there was play time. The annual Rakkasan Reunion Formal. Holy shit. Military formals are a bit off-putting if you have never been to one, but Rakk Reunions are a blast. It is the standard to show up half lit and if you are a single soldier, you a likely to find yourself involved in the annual "hogging competition." These are greatly entertaining to spouses and the size of the women these boys manage to find never ceases to amaze me. But by far my favorite memory is of the grog. Now the grog is an alcoholic concoction comprised of hard liquor from everywhere the unit has been. So for the Rakkasans, that's booze from Kentucky, Tennessee, Korea, Vietnam, Japan and sand and water from the Middle East. Disgusting. The bowl this comes in is the size of a tractor tire. When you see a chaplain being held upside down in the bowl of grog, you know it's going to be a good night.

Of course, with the alcohol, comes the embarrassing things that fly out of my drunk ass husband's mouth. I thought he would never be able to shock me again after being the Army so long. I was wrong. The last Rakk Reunion, I was pregnant. Very pregnant. We're in a room with a bunch of old Rakkasans from the Vietnam era and my husband is chatting with them in his drunk obnoxious way. He calls me over to join the conversation about sex he has started, and when I get over there, he jumps up on a chair and announces to the entire room, "This is my beautiful wife of 14 years. The love of my life. The perfect Army wife who works her ass off to help my soldiers and their families."

Here I am, thinking that I have the perfect husband. He's so thoughtful and proud of me. Then he finishes what he wanted to say.

"AND she obviously puts out!!!"

Time to go. . .