Bitch, bitch, bitch

So apparently, I haven't been bitchy enough lately. My facebook status blog has met with a resounding "YAWN" from the masses who expect cussing, inuendo, and sarcasm from this blogger. SO it's time to up my game! Here it goes.

So can I tell you how much deployments SUCK ASS?!? I'm a survivor, like any other military spouse. The Army takes the hubby, sends him 10K miles away, lets him get shot at, and leaves me stuck here alone, sexually deprived, terrified and generally freaked the fuck out. No problem. I can do this. And then shit happens.

I can deal with about anything. Crazy wives, Iron alerts, money issues, tracking paperwork, going to meetings, being bored, troubleshooting, pissing people off--the list goes on and on. So why is it that the one thing that will kick my ass everytime is a SICK BABY????? Apparently the lack of sleep thing that comes with a sick chld is the only thing in the world that can really make me want to put a gun to my head and just fucking end it. It's stupid, I know. But Edmund being ill is the singular event that literally brings tears to my eyes and makes me wish my husband were here. This shit SUCKS!

So I'm up all night, every night, for a week straight, holding a baby upright because he can't breathe lying down when the breaking point finally arrives. And then the only thoughts that go through my head are, "Why the FUCK am I doing this alone? T should be here to help with this. Fuck the Army! They can all burn in hell, just so they send my hubby home first and he can sit up all night with this kid."

I want sleep. That's all. More than 60 minutes of consecutive sleep. And until I get it, you all get to deal with the psychotic raging bitch that I have become.

Is it fair?
No.

Is it petty?
Yes.

Do I give a flying fuck at this point in time?

Fuck NO!