The cleaning frenzy and his imminent arrival

So why is it that we wives all go insane when our husbands are either coming home for R&R or redeployment? We beat ourselves senseless, cleaning, worrying, fretting, trying to manage every little detail. Why? Our husbands are going to walk in the door, not noticing the fresh paint or the dust-free surfaces or sparkling windows. They are not going to notice that the kids have toys everywhere and are in dirty clothes. And they are not going to care if our eyebrows are waxed or our skin is tanned to perfection. The bastard is just going to drop all his gear at his ass, strip off his stinky uniform, shower, and then want something to eat, a beer (or rum or jack or jim or crown) and sex. So much for that clean house that we spent days scouring and scrubbing. And forget about being caught up on laundry. The cleaning frenzy we allowed ourselves to get into has been a complete waste of time.

So why do we continue to do it? At some point, we just need to step back and take a different look at things. We are women and see things through a woman's eyes. If we were gone a long time and came home to a filthy house, wild children, and a husband who had become a little strange, we would freak the fuck out and probably beat the fucker we married to death. Men are not like this. They don't care about the house or how clean it is. If the kids are happy, men are content. And if their wife is independent and can handle all things on their own, men are happy and proud. Life goes on for them and the laundry pile that makes a wife lose her damn mind isn't going to affect his happiness at being home.

So here's the big thing. From a wife who's been through four deployments. Your husband is coming home? Fine. Clean the house, but don't feel like you need to have everything spotless. He won't notice. Let the kids play. Relax a little. Remember that only two things are important about him coming home.

He is safe and with his family.

And you will finally get sex!!