Now, if you don't know me very well, you probably don't know that I was studying to go into the ministry when I met my husband. You probably don't know that I cuss like an infantryman. Or that my husband now kills people for a living. Ironic, isn't it? But I think the thing that would really surprise people is that while I am not racist, hearing the words "Praise Allah!" makes me laugh my fucking ass off!
This whole War on Terror kills me. Just makes me laugh. And not because I think that it is not a noble or honorable cause or that the fuckers who brought death to America's shores don't deserve to die in a hail of gunfire. . . I am 110% behind the cause of this war and the men who are boots on the ground fighting it. It's the Islam thing that gives me the giggles. And I swear I am not a racist.
Let me explain: In college, I had to take Ancient Greek for my religion major. I was the only female in a class of about 25 guys and I am not an ugly female. Every week we had vocabulary tests, just like you do in French or Spanish. The particular week I have in mind, we were learning articles and conjunctions, like as, but, for, and and. Absolute hell. Did you know there are 30 ways to say the word "the" in Ancient Greek. It depends on singular or plural, gender, and usage in the sentence. Complete and total mind fuck trying to remember that shit.
Anyway, we used the same stupid tricks anyone trying to learn a foreign language uses. Repetition. Rhymes. Word Associations.
It's the word associations that got me into trouble. We're all trying to remember that "the" is ho, hay, ho, hoy, hi, tah. . . and ki means and, and alla means but. I sit in the front row and after our prof released us, I headed on out the door followed closely by 25 men, to include my husband, when I hear a commotion behind me. I turn to find 25 guys on their knees, bowing down screaming, "Praise alla!"
See?? I am not a racist. I just happen to have a very nice ass. . .
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