I Hate Him. . .

OK. That's not true at all. There are times when I want to fucking kill my husband, but I really do love him. I'm just remembering all the phones calls I got before deployment from wives wanting to know what the fuck was wrong with their husband because he was being a total asshole. And before deployment, the guys do turn into assholes. Well, bigger ones than usual anyway.

The guys act like assholes because they are doing their damnedest to distance themselves emotionally before they leave on deployment. And I don't think they even fucking realize what they are doing. As they said in Boondock Saints II, "Fuck it! Do it all I say! Do you think Duke Wayne spent all of his time talking about his feelings with a fuckin' therapist? There's no fucking way he did!
John Wayne died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that's a man! Real men hide their feelings. Why? Because it's none of your fuckin' business!
Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin' jaw and say...
Thanks for comin' out."

My husband doesn't typically start acting like an ass before deployment. He finds things to keep him busy and distracted from the impending separation. This last time, it was the Impala. For two weeks before they left, my husband had boys over nightly, playing with a welder and putting new floor pans into the 1966 piece of shit Impala in the garage, which he swears will be awesome and worth $50K by the time he's done with it. Whatever. Working on the car meant that he could distance himself from the family, get drunk with the boys, play with power tools, make a HUGE fucking mess, and then come in exhausted and go to sleep. The two weeks before a deployment, I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be getting laid. Every fucking time.

I mention this because redeployment is fast approaching and the guys do the complete opposite of what they did before they left. It's another fucking honeymoon. For a month or so. . .

And then the shit will hit the fan. Asshole mode times ten! They all do it. And we all become bitches, the kind of bitch we would punch if the face if we met her. He has to readjust to being in the real world and we have to learn to let go of being in charge of everything. Easier said than done. I know a LOT of people who have made it through deployment only to get divorced after that honeymoon stage is past. It sucks but it's true.

So ladies, remember that your husband isn't the only one who is going to have to readjust to life as part of a couple; you will too. You have to let him be a part of your family again, and not just the fun parts--you know, playing with the kids, going out, vacation, watching movies, company. You have to let him take back some of the things he used to do that you have been responsible for for a year now. It's not easy, but marriage isn't always flowers and champagne. I promise, it's worth the effort. Fifteen years and counting. . .

And I still love the bastard and call him my best friend.