Liar, Liar

I fucking hate liars. And I imagine that people saw the title and are looking to get some good and juicy dirt on some stupid whore. Not the case, so you can quit reading now if you want. Some crazy bitch is a liar, but I wouldn't classify myself as a whore. Crazy, yes. Whore, no. However, I did manage to tell a lie. A huge one to myself and since I've been blogging a lot lately, I managed to lie to everyone who read this shit as well. Fuck me.

Here's my confession: If you are a regular reader, you know that I was bitching not too long ago about how I don't need a fucking man around and that I can do anything to include fixing major appliances by myself and men are assholes who are pointless, useless wastes of space. I think I said the only thing I needed my husband around for was sex. I have since come to the conclusion that I have been deluding myself and that while I may not need him technically, I do need him. Damn it.

Allow me to explain myself. Maybe then you can all forgive me. I don't need him around to do shit. I can take care of shit on my own. Whatever crisis comes my way, I can handle it somehow or someway. What I do need him around for is sanity, moral support, adult conversation, and nights like the past week's worth of nights when I am coughing up a fucking lung and have a houseful of sick kids, one of whom is 15 months old and is up 2-3 times a night for an hour at a time because he is teething and has enough snot up his nose to sink the fucking Titanic. I want to sleep and having the husband around to get up with the puking 5 year old or snag the baby would be fan-fucking-tastic!! But NO!!!!!!

The Army has him 10,000 miles away and I am stuck here alone in a river of snot, shit and vomit without a paddle and not a chance in hell of getting a decent night's sleep. Needless to say, I am bitchy to the nth degree. So fucking with me right now is NOT a good idea and my teenagers are doing their valiant best to never come out of their rooms where they might have to face the psycho bitch their mother has become.

So there it is. I lied. I DO need the motherfucker that I married to be here. I need my husband and I am wishing in one hand and shitting in the other if I think that I'm going to get him any time soon. Still a quarter of deployment left to go and if I'm still sane by the time he gets home, it will be a fucking miracle.

One more confession: I actually miss the son of a bitch, too. And not just his penis. I mean, I miss his penis, too (a lot). But I actually miss the man. My confidant, the other half of my brain, my friend. Fucking hell. God, deployment sucks.