My husband has no fucking clue what it is to be jealous. Sometimes I love that about him and sometimes, it just makes me wonder if I'm so damned unattractive that he really doesn't give a fuck.
During the invasion, phone calls home were a precious commodity and if you got a chance to call home, you called and talked as long as you could regardless of what was going on. This kid had guard duty and it was his turn to call home, so there's a bunch of guys up there with him to take up the slack so he could talk. This kid calls his fiancee who was a rather large girl (huge) and is talking about how much he loves her and she's perfect and that if she wants to go on a diet that's fine with him, but he loves her the way she is. Blah, blah, blah.
At some point in this conversation, one of the guys in the room decides that this is just too good to pass up and it needs to be recorded. Somehow, somewhere, they find a recorder and tape this poor bastard talking to his woman. And apparently this conversation is something that SSG T needs to hear. So they find my hubby and let him listen to this recording.
"No baby. You're beautiful. I love you just the way you are. Don't diet for me; do it for yourself. I'll love you the same, no matter how big you are. But if you want to lose some weight, that would be wonderful. And if you could get as tiny as Mrs. T, oh my God, we are going to have the most amazing sex, because I'll be able to bounce you all over the place just like I bet SSG T does to his wife. . . "
No doubt the guys were anticipating the smoking this poor little boy was about to receive at the hands of SSG T for talking so infamously about his wife. No doubt they were imagining the delights in store for this foolish kid. And no doubt, they were really hoping that they would be there to witness the entire glorious torture of this kid who didn't know when to shut the fuck up. Well, if shame is torture, this kid got it in spades. My husband goes up to this kid, puts an arm around him and says, "Yes, my wife is fun to bounce around."
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