Keeping up Morale: Rule #1

What is it about Army men that makes them so damn easy to talk to? They are foul-mouthed (so am I), dirty minded, bloody minded, war mongering jerks, but they are just so brilliant to have as friends. You can talk about anything with them, and I do mean anything: history, politics, religion, sex, movies, books. And if you don't agree with each other, you grab a beer and spend the next 3 hours trying to drink each other under the table and convince each other why they are wrong. No backstabbing, no cattiness. Just good clean fun and intelligent conversation, provided the alcohol hasn't been flowing too terribly long. And I love their solution for fuck-ups: kick his ass and call it a day. Again, no vindictive, backstabbing bullshit. I love Army men. I suppose that's why I stick with getting to know the soldiers more so than the wives usually.

This deployment has been good for me in one especial way: I have female friends!? How the hell did that happen? Women are the ones who normally pull that catty, vindictive shit that I hate so much, but I've met and really like more than a few women this go around. It's new for me to have more than just a handful of women I actually talk to, and I'm liking it. But that brings me to my Rule #1 for Keeping up Morale:

DO NOT TALK SHIT ABOUT A SOLDIER'S WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND!!! Here's why: Women are, as a general rule, vindictive and quick to lash out (which is why I don't usually have a lot of female friends. . . ), but we need to learn that we have to control ourselves and deal with stuff on a more personal level that spouting off on facebook or via email or the phone. Go beat the shit out of the bitch. Deal with it like a man (even though we're women!) This gossipy, spiteful crap needs to cease and desist or we're going to end up with a lot more WIA and KIA.

I understand that people are going to annoy each other, even really piss each other off. Call them and tell them off. Go over and beat the crap out of them. Don't get on Facebook and write that “Kate is a blankety-blank” or that the “FRG is useless.” This is how rumors over there get started. A comment of “Kate is a fucking whore” gets embellished and suddenly my hubby hears that I am having affairs with 20 different guys and selling my kids on the black market. Now he’s worried and distracted, doesn't do his job, and suddenly we have a platoon who are all WIA or KIA. I personally love these men and I will kick your ass for posting something stupid on the internet or starting a rumor. Just fucking think and grow up. I want my husband home in one piece and I'm sure you do too.