Avoiding the Issues

I have been avoiding drama lately. I've been sick to my stomach for several weeks now dealing with some seriously fucked up situations, but I don't feel like I should say what I'm really thinking. Needless to say, I am avoiding all the stupidity and my recent blogs have just been some very funny Army stories. In keeping with that theme of avoidance, today's offering is a letter that I avoided sending to the person it is about. I still really cannot come up with a tactful way of explaining to this poor girl why I dropped her like a dead skunk. I totally understand wanting to support your husband who's deployed, but I have to draw a line somewhere. This bitch crossed the line without ever hitting the brakes and is in fucking China by now. Enjoy!

Dear STUPID STUPID STUPID ex-Facebook friend-

When you post pictures on Facebook, did you know that it shows up on ALL your friends' home pages?? And when I see those pictures are of your children, I make it a point to look at them--I love pics of people's children. Now, when I am going through your album of children's photos (who, by the way are just the cutest things ever), the LAST thing I expect or want to see is a pic of your twat in ridiculous close-up with a vibrator going to town. HELLO!! I know your hubby is deployed, but they have this really cool thing called EMAIL!! I do NOT need to get jolted back into a wakeful state at 0130 by the porn you are producing for your spouse nor do I really want to spend the next 15 minutes vomiting and praying to the porcelain god that I never have to actually see you again, knowing what horrible image will instantly come to mind whenever I see your face. Oh my GOD! I have no idea how people can actually post shit like that on the Internet, but to just create a random photo album with children's pics, flowers, and then WHAM-O, your pussy should be illegal and punishable by removal of all Internet privileges! The best part is when I un-friend you, you have the GALL to re-request that we be Facebook buddies?!? WTF????? Are you out of your damn mind? Do you think I accidentally dumped your ass? I don't know--maybe I should have sent a message before un-friending you: Hello, FB friend: your twat pics scared me. I'm in a catatonic state and will not be available to be your FB friend any longer. Have a nice day.

Stupid bitch!

(Luckily for me, this lovely letter was preserved for me by Miss Emily on her blog. You can click on her pic to the right and peruse for yourself. She always manages to make me laugh.)