The Dragon Lady

"I didn't know you smoked." Well, you obviously haven't been paying attention, fucker, because I smoke like a damn dragon. Deal with it. My husband is 10,000 miles away being shot at, and I'm the one who has to maintain some level of sanity for a year on my own with 4 kids, 2 dogs, and a slew of wives who think that I am the all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful Kate who can fix any problem. My sanity is directly linked to my nicotine level. Don't like it? Too fucking bad.

I am of the opinion that one does what one must during a deployment. So I encourage the use of cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol, and psychiatric medication (by prescription) if that is what you require to make it through. Caffeine gives me migraines, I have no tolerance for alcohol past a glass of wine (I weigh 93 pounds. I'm a cheap drunk.) and I'm afraid that psychiatric drugs will render me unconscious and unable to care for my kids. Solution: I chain smoke like a motherfucker and enjoy every single drag.

My point is this: Do whatever you have to do to survive deployment. If that means the use any or all of the above, DO IT!!! I also recommend the use of chocolate in desperate cases--you know, the nights when you want to get laid and he's not there to rape. Seriously though, deployments are hard enough without feeling guilty for using "mind-altering substances" to make it through. My smoking slows way down when my husband gets home and most women I know quit drinking or taking their meds.

So FUCK IT ALL! Eat, drink, smoke, take your meds. Be as happy and stable as you can with a husband in the line of fire. And if people don't like it, tell them to go fuck themselves.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need a smoke. Really.