Done.
Unfortunately, I am not in a position to do a damned thing about it. I'm just stuck with the shithole that is my life as I "Hurry Up and Wait." As usual. Army motto. Get fucking used to it, because we are all going to be doing a fuck-ton of waiting. And waiting some more.
At this stage of the game, I swear that snowballs will grow in hell before my husband gets to come home. I am sick and tired of being mom, dad, disciplinarian, cook, cleaning service, accountant, driver, errand runner, and organizer day in and day out without a fucking break. A few hours away from the kids does not fucking cut it--in fact, it actually makes things worse because it only reminds me that those few precious hours haven't amounted to dick over the course of this deployment. I can probably count on my fingers and toes the total amount of time that I have had completely to myself. How fucking sad is that??
It's freaking pathetic. And I'm being a whiny bitch about it. I know that. But God help me, I want someone else to get up with the baby at night, to beat the 5 year old when he's being bad, to scream at the teenagers, to go to the commiscary or fucking cook dinner. Hell, even someone else to load the dishwasher without me begging them to would be heaven.
But none of this whiny ass bitching is going to change things. I made my bed and now I get to lay it in. (Too bad, I'm not getting laid in it! That might make me a nicer person.) I married a soldier and a damned good one at that, and I knew from the get-go that he might have to go away. But that doesn't mean that I can't have one good bitch session about it after he's been gone for 10 months!!! So I'm being whiny and stupid and a cry baby.
I think I'm fucking entitled.
1 comment:
Only 1 good bitch session? Oh girl- you are more than entitled to many more of them!
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