Army Babies

My first two kids were born in the pre-Army days, but T was in the National Guard at the time. Our oldest decided to arrive a little early and spare his father the joys of yet another drill. Our daughter started life trying to be a pain in the ass, just to give us fair warning of things to come. T was playing weekend warrior at the Olympics in Georgia and my doctor was in Egypt visiting his family. Had she been accommodating enough to be born early like her brother or wait an extra day or two, both her daddy and the doctor would have been there to welcome her arrival. But nooooo!! She had to show up right on time, and so neither T nor the doc were there. She was delivered by the nurse. And of course the Army National Guard made T wait until the Olympics were over before he could come home. So our daughter was five days old before she met her dad. Oh well.

Then came the active duty days. Our oldest was nine and his sister was eight (Irish twins) when their father became a drill sergeant. And I got pregnant a year later. First words out of T's mouth, "Who's kid is it?" WTF? Um, remember that one night you weren't so tired that you passed out in your dinner plate? Well, hello baby!

The hospital at Fort Jackson doesn't do OB-GYN, so you have to go to a hospital off post to have a kid. And the doctors at the hospital were ecstatic to learn I was an Army wife. They were hoping my husband was deployed and were absolutely broken-hearted to learn that he was a drill sergeant. Why? Boys and their fucking toys. The hospital had a new thing where they could patch a live feed to Iraq or Afghanistan and broadcast the birth to deployed soldiers and these idiots were hoping I would let them use me as a fucking guinea pig! Fuck that!! Like I want me pushing out a kid broadcast over the internet to my husband sitting in a room where any of his boys could walk by and get a full view shot of my twat! I don't think so.

Then there's number four. Every deployment women start talking about trying for babies when their hubby gets home. Same thing last deployment and I got asked if we weren't going to have another one. My response?? Fuck no! So who got knocked up first when they got home. Oh, that's right. . . ME! Baby number four arrived nine months to the day of homecoming. My response when people ask me now if I want any more is he is getting snipped.