In Hell

Welcome to the final months of deployment, when insomnia, mood swings, anxiety and the deployment drunk really start kicking our asses. They are coming home relatively soon--when exactly is still fucking OPSEC--so why the fuck is all this shit so damned hard to overcome?? We should be out dancing in the fucking streets, making appointments to get things waxed, cleaning out houses, and generally making plans for raping our husbands. What the hell is going on that no one is sleeping, everyone is a nervous fucking wreck, depressed, drinking or smoking more and just generally in a "I don't give a fuck" mood??

I'll tell you why. Because although the end is in sight, it isn't really in sight. There is no end date to this fucking deployment. There is no circle on the calendar to count down toward. There's just rumors and vague hints from a husband who is 10,000 miles away. I don't know about you, but without a hard timeline to plan around, it's just impossible to be really truly excited. I'm starting to think I have an anxiety disorder because one second I'm actually happy about this homecoming and the next I'm fucking depressed over a deployment that never seems to end and then I'm just fucking psychotic wondering if I'm going to have enough time to get everything done before he gets home. What should be the happiest months of deployment are just plain old fucking bullshit!!

If you're feeling like this, you are NOT alone. I am right there with you, same place I've always been in the last stretch of a deployment. In pure and absolute HELL!! When does this feeling go away? Maybe when you get the call and maybe when he gets off the plane. It's different for all of us. My best advice for surviving these last weeks/months? Find a friend who will give you a good swift kick in the ass and get you moving.

As much as I hate hearing it, we are nearly there. Don't slack off now. We are Rakkasan wives and we are kicking this deployment's ass!! Say it with me, my lovely harem:

FUCK YOU, DEPLOYMENT!!