Down the Rabbit-Hole

"The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well." Lewis Carroll

That's deployment in a nutshell. It goes on and on and just when you think there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you find yourself falling down a very deep well of depression. You start off deployment in a state of denial and then into depression, then anger and then the halfway mark hits. And oh the joy that floods my soul!! Seriously. That halfway mark is the best part of deployment. It's exciting to think that it's half gone and then reality comes back and bites you in the ass. Fuck! Especially about now.

Month 10 is the "Is this Mother Fucking Deployment Ever Going to Fucking End?" Month. God, just kill me now. I can't do it anymore. The fucking thing goes on and on, like a goddamn carnival ride. Up. Down. Up. Down. Fuck me sideways. I nearly cry every time he calls, and I don't fucking cry. I am a rock, but I swear it feels like he's never going to come home. The end is in sight, but the bastard Army won't tell me when exactly that end will be. If I had a date to mark on the calendar, it might make things easier. But the Army's 2 favorite games are Hurry Up and Wait and It's Fun Fucking with Wives.

So we aren't just waiting for them to come home. We're waiting for a date. Wait and wait some more. And don't ask questions that require specific answers, because the Army won't give them. So it's fucking depressing and everyone is going through it. Months 10 and 11 are the worst. Month 11 is "Just fucking tell me already" Month. So hold on tight. We get to enjoy these two joyful months along with the holidays that we have to celebrate alone. Fuckers. How the hell am I supposed to get motivated to celebrate a family holiday with the best part of my family 10,000 miles away? I know how. I'm going to get fucking drunk, piss a bunch of people off, and smoke like a fiend. Hello, Katie Hyde.

On an happier note, we only have 2 months, give or take a little with the Army's timeline, before we will have a more concrete time frame for the boys to be home. Oh goody. I can hardly wait. Until then, ladies, crawl in the bottom of that bottle, stock up on smokes and tissue, and prepare for the shit storm of emotion to hit if it hasn't already. Or grab some wine and head on over to my place. Bring the kids! We can drink and bitch at each other. We all know the Army couldn't give a fuck less how we feel. Might as well have a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.